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Breaking the Mental Barriers of Relationship

By Eri Anton


I get asked alot about dating and relationships. So often what started out so good turns out to be not that good anymore. The emotional high of the relationship is gone and now things have progressed to a not so exciting place anymore. People will try to make things better, but give up when results don't happen fast and it begins to look like a dead end relationship. The couple splits and moves on citing irreconcilable differences. Or in the case the couple gets married and finds themselves in this situation they either divorce or begin to look for satisfaction outside of the relationship.

The explanations or what I hear are we fell out of love, we grew apart, we had poor communication and a bunch of other so called valid reasons for failure.

Valuing the things that don't really matter: The basis of all good relationships starts with putting importance on the things that matter and are valuable. Unfortunately too many place too much value on things that shouldn't be prized attributes like looks, good sex or having fun. Some of the issues I see are:

Unreal expectations - people. connect right off the bat and project that feeling and vision long term. It takes 6 month to a year to really get to know someone. Don't think 3 months tells you everything you need to know. Take it slow and realize all relationships are super hard work and so will this one be. Learn how to fight together for you both than looking for a subserviant partner whose life goal is to make you happy.

Being satisfied - with things of value (growth spiritually, fianaically, emotionally). Does this person make you better? You notice I didn't say happy lol. You will find ultimate happiness and long term pleasure and fulfiulment when you chase after the right things. Growth and success and experiences together breed relationship satisfaction

Finding a person you can argue with and get better is a great thing, When we seek after our own selfish desires it doesn't make both of you better and you can't seek your dreams as a couple when you can't share everything together and be honest.

When all else fails don't give up. Make the extra effort to start seeking things for the right reasons and build with a future in mind. Searching after the superficial and emotional high of today doesn't build any lasting value for tomorrow. Get better as a couple every day.

Don't give up and try something new when things are not working. Don't keep repeating the same old mistakes that have proven to not get you any closer to what you want or desire. Trade short term pleasure and what others think for something real and satisfying.