Return to site

Pushing Boundaries........

By Eri Anton


Pushing Boundaries…Within Reason

An important part of life is to develop your independence and grow as a person.  However, independence and growth cannot be gained all at once and so it happens over time.   As we grow, we learn certain boundaries from people of influence in our lives and those rules society has placed or put on us.   They shape us at an early age of how we are expected to think and behave to be accepted and to prepare us for how people believe we should live our lives.   This can be good, but we can’t develop into how others want us to be and we need to be true to ourselves and to establish our own boundaries, not just accept those that have been placed on us to follow by society.   We can’t learn and grow unless we push against the boundaries we are taught and learn how we can keep pushing our boundaries in a way that doesn’t degrade us as people.   Today in society and more specifically within our government and the media, they are trying to brainwash us to be dependent upon them.   They are creating chaos amongst us for their benefit of power and control over us even trying to take away our rights.    The boundaries we are being asked to live by are for their benefit not ours.


The Value of Boundaries

I have no issues with boundaries and have many myself that I place on my friendships and relationships that are healthy.   It’s important for us to understand why boundaries exist in the first place.   Well-defined rules will help you better understand societies expectations.    While we need the freedom to question our surroundings and create our own world views,  we also need guidance from those with more expertise and experience, but not done in a way to try to control our thoughts and behavior.   So boundaries are healthy and a way to conform behavior.   Any woman of value has boundaries and if a guy crosses them he loses favor in her eyes, so they are important.   Boundaries can also be bad when they are used with bad intent.    Our government  would have us believe we need to rely on them to save us from all the bad people in society.   They work to create division among us and the negativity that creates hate and distrust in our society for their own benefit and ability to have control and power over us.    We need to question boundaries and the reasons for them, before just conforming to how people want us to think and behave. 


Define, Follow, and Push Boundaries

As we develop our independence, we must also learn self-discipline. We must begin to set our own limits and form our own personal expectations.  When we demonstrate self-control, understand consequences, and respect the rules, we show our maturity and display the skills that earn the trust of people in our lives.  When people trust your ability to make good, healthy decisions they will respect you.   However when we push beyond what is considered healthy decisions people may lose trust in us.   So do we not push boundaries out of the fear of losing trust and respect of others?   Absolutely not!    Now is the time for us to rise up against all boundaries and question the benefit to society and to our individual freedoms and growth as people.    I am not suggesting we push all boundaries, but many need to be questioned as to the value they provide to us as individuals and as a society.


Grow through Experience

We all make mistakes. If you break a rule or disobey a request, you use the experience as a learning opportunity.  Setbacks provide important opportunities for increased understanding and growth. During challenging times, open and honest communication with people in your life is the best way to demonstrate you’ve learned a lesson and are committed to regaining their trust.  Growing up is about finding a balance between achieving independence and following guidance from others who may have more experience. Be prepared to take chances and to accept ownership of your actions.   


Pushing the limits…..

When you understand the consequences of your actions you can decide how, when and to what degree you push your boundaries and comfort zone and the potential risk / reward that is to be gained.  When we push these boundaries we risk others judging us and criticizing our behavior so that pressure can cause people to not take the risk.   There is a saying that says nothing ventured, nothing gained.  It means failure to take calculated risk will insure you never learn and grow.    So I have accepted the need to push myself and my boundaries to get outside my comfort zone and grow in the most healthy way possible.  Don’t let society live your life for you and don’t be afraid to make mistakes and learn.   If we evaluate things before we do them we know if the risk to us is worth it.   We can’t live our life for others and we only live once so make the most of it.