What is love…..?

So here it goes, my first effort to take on a very controversial subject and share my thoughts. I have wanted to write about love, because it seems to be such a misunderstood word. It is the very thing we all want, but how we pursue it and what it means is different to everyone.

I believe emotions are great and powerful ways to reflect how we feel. The problem is to fully experience something good you have to experience something bad. Why? Because how can you fully know what good is if you don’t know bad? I believe that through great trials comes great highs. You can’t know one without the other.

So when you open yourself to love you also open yourself to hurt. So should we not love so we never hurt? Love is one of the greatest feelings there is and we all want it, but we are so careful not to be hurt we have made love into a very superficial thing.

Netflix and chill, no commitment and random sexual partners have taken the place of a deep committed relationship. When two people are committed (yes committed because love is a commitment) you work through all the hurts and issues to form a deep meaningful bond. One where your partner is your best friend, your confidant, your lover and you live and experience life together.

So many people focus on the wrong things and we want the best looking and the best body or the easiest partner who doesn’t cause any drama. We all want to find someone attractive but what we really need is compatibility. Someone who shares our interests, someone who will make us the best version of ourselves, someone we can work on ourselves with and yes someone who wants to live life with us together.

Anything in life is hard work and so are relationships. You don’t just get online dial in some traits and poof! There is your soulmate. When you find someone who values you and you can share your deepest darkest secrets and they are still by your side, you found something very special.

It is so sad to see people turn off emotions because they have been hurt and turn to superficial relationships like it is the new cool thing to do. Honestly in a world that has lost the ability to see true value in people this type of behavior leads to more devaluing of love and people as a whole. As a woman it is my desire to be so much more to my partner than a random hook up.

If we can allow ourselves to feel our emotions and share how we feel in an effort to understand ourselves better we would not be so afraid to hurt. Our failures in life are the backbone of how we learn and grow and failure is a good thing if we learn. If it make us quit and we settle for mediocrity we let the fear of failure become our demise.

The same with relationships, if we say fuck love and getting hurt we miss the biggest opportunity for a deep meaningful loving connection with someone. We don’t have to be in a hurry to find the deep connection it will just happen. I enjoy being around people who are good looking and take care of themselves, but I am really attracted to the way a man can think. Not all guys are men, there are many boys out there who are all about the hook up and playing the game. A real man stands out and will captivate you with his mind and his way of thinking. This is the basis for someone who can be a life partner and best friend. Don’t sell yourself short and allow love to be a superficial part of your life. Love is the greatest of all and will change the hardest of hearts.

And yes everything takes time. Love in an investment and you should never put more into the relationship than the other person does. Nothing is wrong with hanging out with people as friends and see how things go as good relationships will grow on their own. People need to earn the right to spend more time with you. If they are willing to make the efforts and you are feeling it too they get rewarded with more time. If not it becomes time to part ways. Your time is too valuable to spend with people who don’t see the same value in you.