I wrote a blog on Emotional Intelligence awhile back and wanted to expand upon one of the principles and that is managing relationships. We tend to be aware of how we feel but we often overlook how the other person may feel. We don't need to argue why they feel the way they do only to acknowledge they feel a certain way. That helps us to respond or behave in the proper way to manage the relationship.
If a person is mad and angry, you behaving the same way makes it worse so you calm the situation down with responses that are aimed to de-escalate the situation not add more fire to the flames. This is emotional intelligence at its best. Another situation that I see alot is people saying I am only telling the truth or being honest. You need to understand the difference between the truth and an opinion first and secondly honestly flows best in the banks of love. Which means be honest in the most considerate and loving way possible. Your intent should always be to improve others not destroy them.
Here is one of the excerps of my last blog on Emotional Intelligence as it relates to Relationship Management.
Relationship Management –
Having good social skills means being able to effectively handle other people’s emotions and having the ability to create mutually beneficial relationships using good communication skills. Individuals with good social skills can productively handle conflict and have the ability to persuade and positively influence behavior in others. You must have strong social skills to build good relationships.
: Influence as a competency refers to the ability to have a positive impact on others, to persuade or convince them to gain their support. With the Influence competency, you're persuasive and engaging, and you can build buy-in from key people.
Coach and mentor
: is the ability to build the long-term learning or development of others by giving feedback and support. The Coach and Mentor competency is very important as a good mentor doesn’t offer their opinion but helps the mentee see all perspectives and is an essential social competency for people in life or at any level in an organization.
: in the heat of conflict emotions run very high and logic can get replaced by feelings. Conflict management is about removing the emotion and feelings from the resolution and focusing on teamwork, respect, flexibility, collaboration and negotiation. Many find themselves arguing about petty issues; and if they aren’t careful, these interactions can trigger waves of defensiveness and hostility creating walls and barriers to a good resolution. The best conflict negotiators lead conversations toward team goals, team interests and opportunities for achieving win-win solutions.
: we are not a team because we work at the same place or wear the same color jersey. We are a team based on how we play the game. The definition I like best is from the book “The Wisdom of Teams” and is defined as a group of individuals with complimentary skillsets working together towards common goals and objectives in which they hold each other mutually accountable.
: We all the ability to inspire others through our work ethic, how we handle life situations and our accomplishments. When our actions influence others enough to inspire them something special happens. You don’t develop people by nagging or tearing them down, pointing out flaws and shaming people to change out of fear. You inspire, you motivate, you encourage and you celebrate. Anybody can be an influence good or bad, but inspirational leadership influences and inspires others to change.