I have realized that in life our perspective changes a lot based on our experieces. We tend to live our lives more carefully after we fail or after a bad relationship that ends in break up. No one likes the bad feelings associated with failure or a break up so people become cautious and will settle for something less than desired to avoid bad feelings.
It could look something like this in a business, you failed and had given it everything you had. So the next time you don't give everything and you even develop a plan B just in case things don't work out. The problem is you didn't take your lessons from the failure and go back into the game at 100% you played it safe. You have to adopt a never give up attitude with a focus around an end goal, not allowing short term set backs to bring you to a quitting point or to a place where you think playing it safe will get you someplace good and it doesn't.
In a relationship it might look similar. You were broken hearted and the relationship cost you a piece of your heart. You don't ever want to feel that way again so you give up on love. You will come up with reasons why love isn't for you and people who love are living a fairytale, or true love doesn't exist. You will settle for superficial connections rather than taking the time necessary to create something deep. You play it safe. When you know what you want in a relationship you learn instead of going all in up front you take your time to get to know people. When they are not for you then cut them out. If you find a connection spend time to nuture and develop it. If a relationship doesn't grow don't spend anymore time on it than the other person is willing to spend. When you find someone who is at the same place as you and ready to go all in with you, then do it even if you had failed at love before. Don't ever give up on one of the greatest joys in life and that is love. Fight for it with everything you have with a person who will fight just as hard along side you.
The truth is anything in life is hard and if you are passionate and hungry for excellence in your life there is no other way to live than going all in. You don't have the time to focus on everything so focus and give time to develop key and important areas in your life that you want excellence. That could be a business, a relationship or a goal like being in great shape. If you half ass anything you will get what you put into it.
I now believe the only way to live life is with intense focus around what you want and then going all in with it. I would rather love and hurt than to never love at all. I would rather try hard and fail than to never make the effort. I know we have limited time and you don't have the time to do everything. But the things you are passionate about, the things that are important, don't let others or society define your efforts........define yourself by going all in each and everytime until you have built the life and had the accomplishments you truly want.